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No Love Lost Just My Focus Regained
July is month eight post-separation from my spouse. This month has started with me choosing to be alone. I had started dating early this year while still trying to heal mentally and emotionally through my separation. Co-parenting has been a strain at times with my children’s father.
I choose not to let that bother me on a deep level. Plus, it has been almost six months since I started dating someone prematurely. (I should not have fallen hard as I did for the guy. But I’m back in my proper sense of thinking.) I kept feeling as if I was being problematic and asking for transparent vulnerability from the person unwilling to be vulnerable with me no matter how much I tried. Do I blame him? Nope. I respect how he felt and subtracted myself.
Long story short, I threw in the towel with the relationship. After evaluating myself wholeheartedly, I knew I was not truly ready to be in a committed relationship so soon, even while I was going through a divorce. I loved another man who I was not equally yoked. On top of that, I no longer wanted my daughter, who’s not even old enough to understand what’s going on, to see me constantly crying or upset while I was around this man. A man who I fell in love with sincerely that I believe is not the best match for me.
It was short-lived, spicy, and with plenty of lessons learned while it lasted. I know…
